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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27226090">Candlelight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalElegy/pseuds/EternalElegy'>EternalElegy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:55:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,161</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27226090</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalElegy/pseuds/EternalElegy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There was no blazing torch that paved the way to victory for Nagisa Ran. Just the light of candles was enough to illuminate the vividly coloured world around him, beyond the white bedroom that he had known for so much of his life. </p>
<p>Dedicated to Nagisa's birthday.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Candlelight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>A white room. A white bed. A white bedside table. White lights. A scene that Nagisa was so, so familiar with because it was everything that he knew for the first few years of his life.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>His hands were tiny. He was dressed in those clothes again. His hair was tied in a loose ponytail over his shoulder, complete with a blue ribbon. Maybe at the time he would have thought that this was normal and pure and untainted, but now, this room was cold. Lifeless. Bleached.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The Godfather walked in, his face partially obscured by a shadow hanging over his eyes. Nagisa felt a smile, a strange, weird smile creeping across his own features. The Godfather smiled in return. He had something in his hands. That was it; there was that familiar spark from within. A simple, raw emotion that bloomed in Nagisa’s chest. It was proof of the humanity that clung to him, something that the Godfather could never fully take away from him no matter how hard he tried. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Nagisa thought that it would be the small TV, where he got to see performances of that Akehoshi. A figure that the Godfather loved so much. All Nagisa wanted was to make the Godfather happy — another sign of the humanity that remained despite the Godfather’s efforts. Nagisa would imitate that Akehoshi. The Godfather would light up. That smile wasn’t anything big, but to Nagisa, it was so bright and comforting against the backdrop of the white room. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>However, this time, the Godfather did not come with the TV.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It was a candle. A tealight. Its gentle, orange flame was the only colour in this room. The candle was lowered down, so that Nagisa could look directly at it. It was small, but it was warm. The flame responded to every single little breath that Nagisa let out. It was small, but it was beautiful. There was a small little pool of liquid surrounding the wick, the blood of the candle that could also burn anything that touched it. It was small, but the hues of the flame were enough, more than enough, to brighten up the entire atmosphere and give it all the life it needed.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Nagisa reached and cradled that light with his small hands, and the flame’s light extended, and extended, and extended. His hands were no longer small. A black coat appeared on him. His hair was now tied up in a high, tight ponytail, and it cascaded down his back with a few strands over his shoulders. The bed that he sat on disappeared, replaced with a brightly lit stage. The white walls of the rooms dissolved, replaced with a roaring crowd littered with gold penlights. The Godfather’s figure vanished like dust blown away by the wind, and in front of him, three all-too familiar figures stood, reaching out towards their audience, singing with all of their hearts and souls. All of the sound was white noise, all of the outlines and colours blurred, but everything became crystal clear as those figures turned around towards him, extending a hand towards him, welcoming him into a paradise that he was born for.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He heard their voices call his name.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“...-kun! Nagisa-kun! Nagisa-kun!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your Excellency! The set is ready! We must begin the photoshoot as soon as possible!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nagi-senpai, we’ll be late to the radio show afterwards if we don’t start now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa blinked away the remnants of the stage lighting and the penlights of the crowd, his eyes taking in a more plain sight. Hiyori smiled bright and wide as Nagisa made eye contact with him.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“... Hmm? Sorry. I dozed off a little.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Have you been getting enough rest? Having a good night’s sleep is of utmost importance!” Ibara said while Nagisa rose from his seat to follow the rest of Eden to a set some short distance away.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Ibara, you say this and that about self-care, but maybe you should follow your own advice, you know~” Jun glanced at the producer with a sigh.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Jun, you realise that I am so busy that sometimes I don’t have the time, right?” Ibara adjusted his glasses.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah yeah, whatever you say, but make sure you don’t drop dead from overwork, okay?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Of course I won’t die! Especially I have so much to do!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The chatter stopped when they were in position and the staff began to give them instructions. Different kinds of work had different kinds of fun to them. In this situation, it wasn’t like Nagisa was interacting with an audience, but being told what to do and getting rewarded for directly following instructions had a satisfying sort of simplicity to it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The group photos came first, and then the individual ones. In turn, Hiyori, Ibara and Jun struck casual poses, but as Nagisa waited his turn, he couldn’t help but think back to that candle, and consequently, his past. </span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At this point in his life, Nagisa had never seen fire before. It was a fascinating thing. It was bright, but he could look directly at it. It was warm, but it burned him if he was too close to it. There was also the fact that it needed to be on something; without some kind of object to hold it, the flame would just disappear. The flame could also be moved around in some way, as Nagisa found out by breathing on it unintentionally. Blow too hard, however, and the flame would go out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hiyori’s smile was so bright that it was almost blinding. Nagisa figured that Hiyori’s emotions were of happiness and excitement, and he figured that it was a good idea to attempt to express those emotions too. Hiyori said that it was good to mimic the happiness of others. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nagisa-kun! The fire’s so pretty, right?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa simply nodded, while trying to smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so glad that we get to have candles in my room! My parents said not to touch the candles while they’re lit though, otherwise we might burn down the house!” Hiyori continued.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa was more interested in the objects that Hiyori called “candles”. These were supposed to be the pale yellow cylinders on which the fire burned, right? There was a short little rope thing at the top where the fire stood on. Hiyori had said sometime earlier that the candles were made of wax, and that the little rope thing was called a wick. There was liquid trickling down the candles, like water. Nagisa reached out to wipe the liquid away.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Nagisa-kun, don’t! You’ll get burned!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was too late. Pain shot through Nagisa’s finger as he touched the liquid and he pulled away, hissing from the sensation. Hiyori was scared. Nagisa was scared too… until the burn immediately disappeared.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Are you okay?!” Hiyori asked in a panic.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“... Yes. It doesn’t hurt, anymore.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Huh?” Hiyori inspected Nagisa’s finger, noting that the wax had already solidified. “Ah, so it cooled! Let’s go wash it off! Don’t tell my parents, okay? Otherwise we’ll get in trouble and we’ll never be able to light the candles again!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa nodded. He wanted to look at the candles and the fire more. He didn’t want it to be taken away by the adults.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a quick trip to the bathroom, they returned to Hiyori’s room to look at the fire again. There were three candles; a big candle accompanied by two smaller candles. It was like the big one was a parent and the two smaller ones were children. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Oh, Nagisa-kun! Do you want me to read you a book? It has a part with fire in it! We can read it in the candlelight!” Nagisa loved those books that explored fictional worlds that he couldn’t even begin to imagine. Hiyori smiled at Nagisa before running to his bookshelf, taking out a book and returning to their place beside the candles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The book was about a group of people who had set off on a grand adventure through an unknown land. They fought various, terrifying monsters along the way. Hiyori told the story in such an amazing way that Nagisa felt like he really was in it all as a silent observer as the adventurers went along their journey. The colours looked like they had been splashed into life on the page, but they were shaped and mixed with each other to create an amazing landscape that took Nagisa’s breath away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then they arrived at the pages that Nagisa loved most. The adventurers had set up a camp to rest for the day, but in the middle of the camp, they had a big fire. A campfire, Hiyori explained. It provided them with warmth and light. They also cooked their dinner with it. They were singing songs and telling stories about their past experiences. Even though they weren’t quite singing in tune, they were having fun all the same. They were eating, drinking, laughing. Nagisa liked it a lot. He didn’t want this moment in the book to end, but he also didn’t want this moment in reality to end either. Hiyori was happy and smiling beside him, channeling all of his acting energy into bringing all of the fictional characters to life. The candles were beside them, and the flames occasionally flickered, like they were truly alive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was as if the candlelight was slowly lighting up Nagisa’s surroundings, introducing him to the vibrantly coloured world beyond the plain, white bedroom that he lived in before.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There were lots of things that brought warmth to Nagisa. One of them was Hiyori’s hugs. Another one was familiarity. However, this situation was less like warmth and more like being burnt by that hot candle wax all those years ago with how sudden it was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That strange man with fuchsia hair had driven by and given out some kind of speech that went in one ear and out the other. To be honest, Nagisa was tired and exhausted from all of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span> business, but that faint, all-too-familiar scent pierced straight into his brain. From that point onwards, he knew that he had to follow it no matter what. It was like destiny was paving a path right in front of him, and the only thing he could do was to follow it, no matter how much he wanted to question it. Everyone around him had taught him not to follow random strangers and no one that he explained the situation to (Hiyori especially) thought that it was a good idea to join Cosmic Production and move schools, but there was an invisible force that was pulling him towards that man and there was nothing Nagisa could do to resist it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ibara Saegusa smelled like the Godfather. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was an interesting person, to say the least. Nagisa finally got to know what it felt like to be treated like a god, even if it was only from one person, but at the same time, he didn’t really like it that much. Communicating was difficult, especially with Ibara. Nagisa much preferred to be digging for artifacts from the ground, unearthing the secrets of a past humanity, and then using that information to understand humans in the present. Those artifacts didn’t talk back to him, after all. He didn’t have to worry about them treating him in a way that he didn’t like, and the strange nickname Ibara called him by didn’t help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite all of that, Ibara managed much of Nagisa’s idol life for him and that in itself gave him a peace of mind, allowing him to direct his mental energy towards what he truly wanted to think more about. Ibara decided what he ate. Ibara decided what exercises he did at the gym. Ibara decided what they were going to do during practice. Ibara decided what they were going to sing. Ibara decided what kinds of work they were going to do. Ibara decided everything Nagisa was going to say while they were in view of the public eye. Nagisa liked having everything laid out for him to do. Following instructions were far easier than creating the instructions, after all, and Nagisa truly appreciated Ibara’s work (though every time he tried to let Ibara know of his appreciation, Ibara would shrug it off and go on and on about how blessed he was to serve someone like Nagisa). </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa wanted to be closer to Ibara, but with the way Ibara treated him, perhaps that would come later. Human relationships needed time to develop, Nagisa learned. Hiyori said that a lot of people usually aren’t comfortable with revealing their true selves earlier on, and would prefer to gain trust before doing so. Maybe that was the case with Ibara. That impenetrable mask would dissolve over time, just like how the wax of a candle melted down and disappeared while lit.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jun was like that third candle in Hiyori’s room. It was difficult to light, and it had a timid, small flame.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Meeting new people was always an interesting experience, and Nagisa had learned that Hiyori had brought in a new person who would become part of Eden. That familiar excitement bubbled within him once more. He wanted to meet this person that Hiyori referred to endearingly as “Jun-kun” all the time. Jun-kun did this, Jun-kun did that. That excitement almost turned into a horrible, sickening jealousy, like a knife twisting in Nagisa’s gut, but once he met Jun in person, all of that was thrown out the window. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jun barely made eye contact with him, or talked to him at all for that matter. Was something about Nagisa strange? Did he look too scary with his height and white hair and a weird, threatening smile? Hiyori assured him that Jun was just nervous about meeting him and that was probably why, like how everyone was when meeting new people. Nagisa didn’t really understand that, but he did his best to accept that that was the case for those around him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fast forward a year later, and their relationship was the same. During that time, Nagisa had learned that sometimes, he needed to be the one to take the initiative, and one day when he spotted Jun in the rest area, he decided to execute his plan.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“... Jun.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Oh, Nagi-senpai.” Jun jumped a little out of his place on the sofa. “Sorry, I didn’t see you coming. What is it?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“... May I sit beside you?” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Perhaps this wasn’t the best time for a conversation; Jun had been so intently reading something on his phone that he had been surprised at Nagisa’s intrusion. He thought about all of the times he had talked to Hiyori about interacting with people, and about good times to talk to people and good times to stay silent, and this seemed like a good example of when staying silent would have been a better idea. Luckily, Nagisa was armed; he had a book of his own that he had been wanting to finish for a while. Work had caught up to him and as a result, he couldn’t spend as much time reading as he had wanted to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All of those conversation topics and mental notes regarding basic interactions could wait. Nagisa seated himself beside Jun, opening up his book. Even if they didn’t talk to each other, it was still progress. They were still spending time together, so it still counted as deepening their friendship, right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Time flew by and eventually Jun had to depart for work, but seeing Jun leave with a smile on his face made Nagisa feel warm and satisfied.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hiyori decided one day that watching their own lives would be a great bonding experience, despite all of Ibara’s protests.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa didn’t particularly have an opinion on his own performances, other than the fact that the audience seemed to love it more when he acted without a script. Ibara sounded so pleased upon delivering the news that Nagisa couldn’t help but be happy himself. Hiyori said something about how Nagisa should really be glad about it because it meant that people really appreciated Nagisa’s true self and not just the front that he only put on whenever he was on stage. Jun didn’t have much of a comment, other than a quick compliment and a smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Somehow, Hiyori decided that Ibara’s office was going to be the best place for such a viewing, and soon, all four of them were squashed on a small couch, with their producer making an unusual amount of noise about the discomfort of his current position. Nagisa and Hiyori were quick to shut him up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were silently sitting there, like four teenagers watching a movie together at a sleepover. Not that Nagisa knew what a normal sleepover was like, nor did anyone else in Eden. It felt almost like fate that the four of them, all initially bound together by a contract, did not have regular upbringings filled with happiness and healthy innocence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa’s mind began to wander from the performance playing out on Ibara’s tablet screen, immediately going back to his younger self in that white room, when the Godfather brought in that small TV. A lot of the time, the Godfather wanted to show Nagisa that Akehoshi. He was always so happy when he watched alongside him, commenting on the songs and the dances. Nagisa wanted to be just like that Akehoshi, because it meant making the Godfather happy. He never properly realised at the time that becoming an idol on a stage, singing and dancing just like that, could also make hundreds and thousands of people happy all over the world. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now here he was, with one of the most powerful idol groups in ES, displaying his talent and voice for all the world could see, and so were Hiyori, Ibara and Jun. Nagisa thought back to that child who couldn’t even smile properly while he was trapped in that white room. Would he have thought that he would be the one being watched on TV in the future? Nagisa didn’t even have a grasp on what humanity was like back then. He learned over time that being an idol, being any performer, was about communicating something to the audience, and the only way to be able to do so was to understand the audience on more than a superficial level. That meant talking to people and gaining knowledge on their perspectives. That, in turn, allowed Nagisa’s humanity to grow. It was a harsh world at first, but contrary to his expectations, he got used to it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa wondered what that child back then would have said to him, should they have met. </span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No candle could burn forever. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was clearly evident with the limited amount of wax every candle had, but Nagisa learned that it could be applied to people too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wherever Hiyori called Nagisa, it was almost always for some kind of casual conversation, but this time, it was very different. Hiyori’s voice usually didn’t go low and quiet, and Nagisa immediately knew that something was wrong. They met up in front of Nagisa’s dorm after dinner. Yuta and Kaoru were away for work during this period, so Nagisa knew that he and Hiyori wouldn’t be disturbed. As soon as the door shut behind them, all of Hiyori’s bright, sunny persona washed away, only to be replaced by a darker, depressed self that was the embodiment of all of the world’s exhaustion. It was Hiyori’s true self, hidden under so many layers of sunshine that it was difficult even for Hiyori to figure out what was real and what wasn’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They hugged. They had already hugged each other many, many times ever since they first met, enough for Nagisa to determine the mood behind every kind of hug. There were the quick squeezes in between work venues, when Hiyori just felt like it. There were slightly drawn out hugs, reserved for situations when Hiyori wanted to show Nagisa a bit of affection. Then there were these hugs. The really, really, really long tight hugs that told Nagisa that Hiyori </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> this badly. Hiyori always needed attention, but sometimes, he needed a little more than words. He needed warmth, and something big and sturdy that he could wrap his arms around and pretend that it was the pillar that was going to hold him up and guarantee that everything was going to be okay. Nagisa was very happy to offer that kind of support.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A short while later, Hiyori broke the hug, giving Nagisa a smile that gave him all the reassurance he needed.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Thank you, Nagisa-kun.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“... You can always come back to hug me if you need to, Hiyori-kun.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hiyori always made sure to do something before he truly hit a breaking point, but Ibara was very, very different in that regard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One day, he was saluting and grinning like he had all the energy in the world, and the next, he was out cold on the floor of his office with a burning fever and a bruise on his shoulder where it connected a little too hard with the ground. Thankfully Ibara had just called Nagisa in for a meeting, otherwise who knows how long Ibara would have laid there on the carpet while the world continued to turn without a care for him. Nagisa didn’t like that thought. He attempted to push it as far back into his mind as he could while he made his way to the ES medical office, with an unconscious Ibara in his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa didn’t realise the true meaning of stubborn until he talked to Ibara after he had woken up, and the damn snake was doing whatever he could to slither out of this situation despite his very weakened state (which did nothing to help his case). Unfortunately, Nagisa wasn’t so adept in social situations. It got to the point where he had to pull out the God Mode to silence Ibara because he really didn’t know how to get his point across. Eventually, it dawned on Nagisa that even someone like Ibara, who had a ridiculously strong will, could fall like this. Nagisa had always wanted to reward Ibara for his hard work and finally, he had found the perfect opportunity to do so… though that involved a lot of communication with the nurse because he frankly had no idea how to care for a sick person.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The instant Ibara was well enough to resume work, Nagisa managed to catch his producer and embrace him, because he was truly worried during that time when Ibara was too unwell to get out of bed. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Your Excellency! I told you not to touch me suddenly!” Ibara protested as Nagisa wrapped his arms around him. Hugging Ibara was a very different experience from hugging Hiyori. Hiyori was squishier and warmer and always hugged back. Ibara was as stiff as stone, with his arms planted firmly at his sides, absolutely refusing to return Nagisa’s affections, but Nagisa was sure that the snake would warm up to him one day.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“... Please don’t get sick again, Ibara.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I promise I will do my best to take care of myself in the future! Now, would you please let me go? I have work to do!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa had some confidence in his hugs from his experiences with Hiyori, so when Ibara slipped out of his arms and dashed away as fast as humanly possible, he speculated that Ibara was embarrassed. That was just a little bit cute.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Like Ibara, Jun almost never showed signs of wearing out whenever Nagisa saw him, but one day, things were different.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was something slightly off with the way Jun was seated in the book room, with his manga in hand. Nagisa had recently finished the manga that Jun had recommended to him and he was extremely eager to begin a conversation about it… until he talked to him.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“... Jun. May I sit next to you?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Sure.” Jun had almost always responded in exactly the same way every time, but Nagisa picked up on the slight sigh at the very end. It was a sign that Jun was tired, and he probably didn’t want to have a conversation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The leader of Eden took a seat beside Jun, opening up a book that he had recently received from Ibara. As with everything Nagisa enjoyed doing, time flew by, minutes turned into hours (he had the free time anyway), but his concentration was broken by a sudden small weight on his shoulder and a faint tickle at his neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa could clearly hear Jun’s soft breathing and he carefully turned his head to inspect his fellow unit-member’s current state. He could see Jun’s peaceful sleeping expression, his mouth slightly opened, his hair brushing lightly against Nagisa’s neck, and the open manga on his lap. Jun smelled faintly of some kind of shampoo, but at this point, Nagisa was far more interested in making sure that Jun was going to get the rest that he needed, without being disturbed, so when Hiyori came waltzing into the book room, Nagisa immediately put a finger to his lips. Luckily his gesture came just in time, otherwise Hiyori’s voice would have easily woken up Jun; Nagisa wasn’t really keen on that because he honestly enjoyed Jun resting on him and he was sure that Jun was going to appreciate an undisturbed nap. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hiyori walked over with a little more care than he usually did. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“No fair, why does Jun-kun get to rest on you? I want Jun-kun to rest on me like that!” The leader of Eve whispered, a whine clearly coming through despite the lack of tone in his voice.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“... It might help if you could be more quiet around him.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Ah, I know! I’ll make sure to do a lot of work with him to tire him out, and then I can offer him my shoulder! What fine weather!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“... Please don’t overwork him, though. I don’t want him to get sick like Ibara.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it, Nagisa-kun! I can take good care of Jun-kun!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hiyori reached out to pet Jun’s head. Nagisa gently stopped him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For some reason, Hiyori really, really wanted to go out shopping with the rest of Eden, like he was a teenage girl with all the youth in the world and he was talking to fellow teenage girls with all the youth in the world, so everyone got dragged along as they headed towards his favourite shopping mall. Nagisa was never really interested in shopping, but he joined without argument because Hiyori’s enjoyment of any activity was always amplified in proportion to the amount of people that joined him. The younger ones, however, put up a bit of a fight, though they ended up coming along in the end, deciding that they might as well do some grocery shopping while they were there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Like every new experience, Nagisa tried to approach it with an open mind, observing as much as he could. There were many, many advertisements on the screens spread throughout the mall (including some of Eden’s own). Clothing stores displayed their most fashionable pieces, tempting potential buyers to try them out. The food stores had their best selling options on display, welcoming passerbyers to try a whole different dimension of flavours. Lots of people walked around, and the air was filled with chatter, the sound of boots and heels on a hard floor, and the occasional loud wail of a child. It was an intriguing environment to be in, considering this was a place that was designed to milk out all the money it could out of those who visited.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A certain object at the window of a shop caught Nagisa’s eye and he stopped, examining it. Hiyori had been talking non-stop ever since they set foot in the mall, but seeing Nagisa’s lack of movement made him halt for just a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nagisa-kun? Why are you looking at the candles?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“... Don’t you remember, Hiyori-kun? You had three candles in your room.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hiyori paused.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Ah! I remember now! My parents used to light them and we’d read books by the candlelight! Such wonderful memories… what fine weather!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“... You were like the big candle, Hiyori-kun. And the two smaller ones were like Ibara and Jun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ibara and Jun turned their heads. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Hmm?” Jun didn’t quite hear what Nagisa had said.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“What a strange object to compare me to, Your Excellency!” Ibara responded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“... Thank you for being with me, everyone.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Aww… Nagisa-kun… don’t make me cry…” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“... You all shone so brightly for me, even when I was new to this world. You all helped me as I struggled to make sense of what was happening around me, even though I had never given any of you anything at first. I don’t know what I can do to pay you all back, but… thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was it. Hiyori burst forth into the biggest smile Nagisa had ever seen and suddenly they were all in a big group hug (with Jun and Ibara being pulled in against their will, but it wasn’t like they could struggle against their seniors anyway). All of their warmths combined together in this single action. Nagisa felt a connection to everyone that was within this tight circle, everyone who was in this harsh reality with him, creating a paradise not just for their audience whenever they were up on stage, but all for themselves. Everyone in Eden could find solace in it, even as they all came from different upbringings and different kinds of pain and suffering. It wasn’t perfect by any means; they all still had ways of learning how to be closer to one another, but they were getting there and that was all that mattered to Nagisa.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa thought back to that small little tealight in his dream, and how its light grew outwards to reveal the vividly coloured world around him. All of his experiences were like watercolour paint splashing and spreading on the blank canvas that was his childhood self, and even as he was exposed to the dark truths and terrible realities, those bright colours continued to push forward and he was stained with it all. Both the pleasant and unpleasant were mixed together to form the person he was today, and Eden made up so much of him. Hiyori. Ibara. Jun. All of them were now important parts of him that he swore that he would cherish and never let go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And it was the candlelight that would light his path into a glittering, dazzling future.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Three candles, with one taller than the other two, sat on top of the bookshelf in Nagisa’s dorm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every time he wished to read into the night, those candles would be lit, their light guiding him through the ink on the page. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nagisa said goodnight to the candles as if they were really living beings. Yuta and Kaoru decided not to bring this up with him the next morning.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Birthday, Nagisa Ran!</p>
<p>A huge thank you to <a href="https://twitter.com/amagiiz?s=20">gigi (@amagiiz)</a> for beta reading this work!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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